


You caused my heart to bleed (and you still owe me a reason)

by coldflashwavebaby



Series: Barry Mardon [3]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Attempted Kidnapping, Barry is a Mardon, Depression, Emotional Baggage, Everyone's adopted okay?, Family, Len is a Wells, Lisa Jesse and Barry are Roommates, M/M, Mick is a Stein, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Sort of? - Freeform, Unresolved Emotional Tension, on all accounts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-18 23:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12398619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldflashwavebaby/pseuds/coldflashwavebaby
Summary: No, Mark would be disappointed. He would be ashamed.But he also wasn’t there. And Barry deserved this, having friends and rejecting his own loneliness.For a moment, he pretended he was like everyone else and thought that both of his brothers were dead. It was a horrible thought, but, for some reason, he felt a swell of relief, like he no longer had anything to prove to anyone.





	You caused my heart to bleed (and you still owe me a reason)

            Living with Jesse Wells and Lisa Snart wasn’t at all what Barry had expected. First, he’d expected someone besides him to feel awkward about the arrangement, but Jesse and Lisa welcomed him with open arms. In fact, they insisted on taking him out to dinner on the night he moved in. Barry had tried to politely decline—dinner with someone he’d kidnapped _had_ to be awkward—but the girls had been insistent.

            “None of that matters. You’re officially family,” Jesse explained, throwing an arm over his shoulder.

            “Clean slate,” Lisa agreed. “I don’t care that you kidnapped me. You were upset, and it doesn’t seem like you make very good decisions.”

            He tried not to take offense. But dinner had actually been… _nice._ They’d ordered in, at Barry’s request, and just sat, Jesse on the couch, Barry on the armchair beside it, Lisa on the floor, and talked.

            Jesse was a genius. She was a scientist, like her dad, had graduated from high school at fifteen, and college at eighteen with a triple major. She was currently working on getting her masters in theoretical physics, applied physics, and quantum physics. She and Barry had talked for nearly an hour about the latest scientific theories and her father’s current projects.

            Lisa…Lisa was something else. Though she wasn’t at Jesse’s level of genius, she followed their conversation well, though her major was business. She dealt with the non-science part of STAR Labs, from the finances to legal, thanks to the law degree she had under her belt as well.

            Barry was impressed.

            When it was his turn to share, he found there wasn’t a lot he could tell them they didn’t already know.

            “What about your brothers?” Jesse asked, setting her empty plate to the side. “I mean, I know they were criminals, but that’s not _all_ they were. What were they like?”

            Sorrow washed over Barry. No one had ever asked about his brothers, unless they were cops trying to figure out where they ran off to. No one ever cared enough about the Mardons to be that interested. But Lisa and Jesse were both watching him with rapt interest, like they were preparing themselves for some epic story.

            He sighed. “They were…brothers. We fought sometimes, pulled shit on each other, but we always had each other’s backs. Our parents…” He swallowed hard. He’d never talked about his adopted parents before. He couldn’t remember his birth parents, so, as far as he was concerned, Mark was the only parent he ever had. “They didn’t care about any of us. Our mother was a drunk, who let our father beat the shit out of Mark every chance he got. He started on Clyde as we got older, and they would take it, because it meant I didn’t have to.

            “They were my family.” He leaned back in the chair, tucking his knees against his chest. “Mark and Clyde were the only two people I knew that loved me. When Jack—our father—kicked Mark out of the house at eighteen, he thought he could move on to beating me. He only touched me once before Clyde handled it.”

            Lisa frowned. “I looked up the Mardons, Barry. It said that the parents were murdered and their two children that lived with them were missing.”

            Barry nodded. “Clyde…he’s always had problems resisting urges. I didn’t find out until I was fifteen, but apparently, he’d confronted Jack about hitting me after I’d gone to sleep. Clyde told him that he called Mark and we were all leaving. Jack said Clyde could go, but since they got money for keeping me, they would be stealing if they took me. He threatened to call the police and say Mark kidnapped us if they brought me. Clyde lost control of his temper, and, by the time Mark got to the house, both of our parents were dead.

            “I was the first thing my brothers ever stole.” He grinned, tears welling in his eyes. “They used to say I was the best thing they ever stole. They robbed banks and convenience stores so that they could set up a college fund for me. Mark and Clyde used to get into it over me all the time, though. Clyde thought that, if I wanted to be a thief, it was my choice. But Mark wanted me to be honest, be a scientist like I’d always dreamed, and have the life they couldn’t. I guess that didn’t really work out for me.”

            A hand fell on his ankle. He hadn’t even noticed Lisa scooting across the floor to sit across from him, too lost in his thoughts. “They would be proud of you,” she said, her voice bleeding sincerity. “You’re fighting for people like you and your brothers. Mark and Clyde would be happy for you.”

            Barry thought about where he was—living in the apartment of Clyde’s murderer’s sisters. He thought about the way he and Len had laid in that bed, holding hands silently, and what that’d meant for Barry. About how Mick came in two hours later and sat on the edge of the bed, running his fingers comfortingly through Barry’s hair.

He thought about the budding feelings he just couldn’t squash.

            No, Mark would be disappointed. He would be ashamed.

            But he also wasn’t there. And Barry deserved this, having friends and rejecting his own loneliness.

            For a moment, he pretended he was like everyone else and thought that both of his brothers were dead. It was a horrible thought, but, for some reason, he felt a swell of relief, like he no longer had anything to prove to anyone.

0000000

            Just because Barry was living with the sisters of a police detective didn’t mean he was going to change his lifestyle. Every Friday, he was back at Saints & Sinners, drinking with Nimbus or playing pool with Hannibal.

The special Friday two months after moving in with the girls was no different—he was at the table, hustling a new meta—some emotional manipulator named Bivolo—at pool while Hannibal took bets.

            It helped that, on top of being super smart, Barry had super speed to help knock the balls the right way without drawing any attention.

            Or so he thought. After winning his third game in a row, Bivolo grabbed Barry by the collar and pushed him against the bar. “You’re cheating!”

            Duh. They were in a criminal bar. _Everyone_ cheated at Saints. The trick was cheating better than the other person. When he tried explaining that to Bivolo, however, the meta just became furious. He raised a fist, ready to knock Barry’s lights out—though, in fairness, Barry could’ve gotten out of his grip at any time—when someone grabbed his arm, stopping him.

            “I suggest you let the nice man go, and go get a drink,” the newcomer suggested, pressing a crumbled up $20 into Bivolo’s hand. “Just because you’re a criminal doesn’t mean there aren’t rules here in my bar. No fighting. No meta powers used to harm each other. No killing. Now, either you follow those rules, or you get out.”

            Bivolo glared behind him, but released Barry, choosing to stomp away towards the door. Barry let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks. I mean, I _could’ve_ handled it, but thanks.”

            He brushed himself off and raised his eyes to get a good look at his savior, and his heart skipped a beat. The man in front of him was, like, Disney prince beautiful. His golden blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, dashing grin—Barry wasn’t sure if he wanted to be him or be under him. Maybe a bit of both.

            “I’m Barry.” He held out his hand awkwardly, and ‘perfect man’ took it with another dazzling smile.

            “My name’s Thawne. Eddie Thawne. I own the bar.”

            Barry raised an eyebrow. “Really? I thought it was owned by a Family.”

            Eddie shook his head. “Not anymore. The previous owner was a friend of my father’s, and he let me have it when I told him I was moving to Central without a job. So, for the past month, I have been the proud owner of this establishment.”

            He knocked his knuckles on the bar, and Barry laughed.

            “Here,” Eddie pulled out a stool beside him and motioned for Barry to sit, “sit with me, and I’ll buy you beer.”

            It sounded like a come on. The way he was smiling at Barry definitely _looked_ like a come on. Hannibal, who had moved to stand just behind Eddie, was looking over him appreciatively, giving Barry a thumbs up. A week ago, Barry would’ve accepted in a heartbeat.

            “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “Maybe some other time? I promised my roommates that I would be home before midnight so they can lock the door—I don’t have a key, yet.”

            He expected Eddie to get defensive, like most men in Saints got when they were turned down, but instead, Eddie nodded understandingly. “Of course. Well, the invitation is always open to you, Barry.”

            He gave a playful wink, and Barry almost melted into the floor. He mentally berated himself as he waved good-bye to Hannibal and headed for the door. How could he reject someone like that? A charming, nice guy with the eyes of an angel…why did he say ‘no’?

            Was it because of his stupid crush on Leonard Snart and Mick Rory? Was his new connection with them going to ruin every possible relationship he had?

            He was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice someone hovering around the doorway outside of Saints until they started following him towards his car.

            He paused. “Bivolo?” he asked, turning towards his stalker, but another man quickly came up behind him and grabbed him.

            “Hey!” He kicked out, but someone else appeared and grabbed his legs. Barry vibrated to get loose, and the man at his legs disintegrated, only to be replaced by another, exact copy. Barry looked up at the man holding him—it was also the same man.

            He tried vibrating again, but another one of the cloned men quickly pulled a pair of cuffs and slapped them on his wrists.

            Immediately, Barry felt his powers recede. “What…what did you do to me?” he asked. “What do you want?!”

            The first man—the one who’d followed him—pulled a piece of cloth out of his pocket and shoved it into Barry’s mouth.

            “I’m sorry, Mr. Allen,” he said sincerely. “But my freedom depends on your capture. There’s a man who desperately wants you. This isn’t personal, and I won’t hurt you if I can avoid it.”

            The man’s clones started carrying him towards a van parked at the back of the lot, and he thrashed as hard as he could. When he reached the van, he realized no one was coming to rescue him. He was on his own, without powers.

            Then, a flash of lightning knocked the man and all of his clones back on the ground. Barry braced himself to crash to the ground, but, instead, warm arms snatched him out of the air. He looked up at his savior, half expecting it to be Mark, finally home and saving him with his storm powers.

            Instead, his jaw dropped. Eddie was cradling him against his chest, looking over him worriedly. Carefully, he put Barry on his feet and pulled the rag out of his mouth. “Are you okay?”

            Barry nodded, still confused about what was going on. Then, movement caught his eye.

            “Eddie, look out!” He shouted as one of the metas pushed to his feet, but Eddie was way ahead of him. To Barry’s utter shock, Eddie ran at _superspeeds_ at the meta, knocking him to the ground with one hard punch.

            Suddenly, all of the clones disappeared. Eddie knelt down to take something out of the unconscious meta’s pocket. _The handcuff key._

            He flashed back over to Barry. “You…” Barry gasped, “you’re like me. You’re a speedster!”

            Eddie paused unlocking Barry’s cuffs. “I…I was going to tell you over drinks.” The cuffs clicked open and fell from Barry’s wrists, but neither moved. “I overheard from some regulars about your abilities. I’ve never met anyone like me.”

            “Me either,” Barry whispered. “I didn’t know there were other speedsters. I thought I was alone.”

            Eddie raised his head, so they were staring into each other’s eyes, and a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. “You’re not alone, Barry,” he assured. “You’ll never be alone again.”

0000000

            Barry went home with Eddie that night to a large house nestled in the woods, and the two stayed up until almost sunrise talking about running and the Speed Force. For the first time, Barry felt like someone understood him. Even his brothers, when Barry tried to discuss their powers, had only seen them as a weapon, a means to an end. Eddie understood what Barry knew—their power was a part of them. It was almost like a living, breathing thing inside, gifting them with their abilities.

            Eventually, Barry drifted off to sleep, waking up hours later still on Eddie’s couch, only with a pillow under his head and a blanket tossed over him. There was a note left on the coffee table from Eddie, telling Barry that he’d gone to Saints to get some paperwork done, but there was plenty of food in the house, and he was welcome to hang around for as long as he’d like.

            Barry sighed. God, he was like the perfect man.

He almost accepted the offer, but he knew that Jesse and Lisa would be worried if he didn’t drop in. When he walked into the apartment, he wasn’t shocked that the two were sitting eagerly at the kitchen table with three glasses of wine. It was three in the afternoon. 

            “So,” Jesse grinned, “I got your text last night. _‘Don’t wait up—staying over with a friend’_.”

            Barry groaned. He should’ve known what that message would sound like out of context. He sat in front of what must have been his glass of wine. “It’s not what you think.”

            Lisa smirked. “So, you didn’t meet someone at the bar last night and go home with them?”

            Barry opened his mouth to argue, but then frowned. That kind of was what happened. “I didn’t sleep with him.”

            If anything, they made Jesse and Lisa _more_ interested. “Him?” Jesse asked. “Who’s ‘him’?”

            He mentally kicked himself. He didn’t want them to know about the other speedster thing—not yet. Eddie said that Barry was the only person he’d told, and he didn’t want to betray his trust. He bit his lip. They needed to hear _something_.

            “His name is Eddie,” he told them. “He’s the new owner of the bar. He saved me from a meta attack in the parking lot.”

            Fear and worry appeared on the sisters’ faces. “You were attacked again?” Lisa demanded.

            “You need to tell Len and Mick,” Jesse said.

            “Who was it this time?”

            “What could they do?”

            Barry kicked himself. He shouldn’t have said that. “I’m fine. I don’t know his name, but he could replicate. Eddie scared him off before he could really try anything.” He wasn’t _completely_ lying. “I don’t even know if he was working for the same person, or if it’s just a coincidence!” Okay, that was a lie.

            The pair relaxed a little, but Barry knew he needed to avert their attention. “Anyway, Eddie saved me and then I went back to his house.”

            That got them away from the attempted kidnapping.

            “Oooo…then what?” Jesse asked, resting her chin on her hands.

            Barry shrugged. “We just stayed up all night talking.” He sighed as he thought back on it. If there was someone who could get him over his crush on Mick and Len, it was Eddie. “Then, I fell asleep, and he put a blanket over me, like in the movies.”

            Jesse awed, but Lisa seemed suspicious. “You don’t think that it’s a bit strange that Eddie was able to take down a meta human that you couldn’t without any help?”

            Barry shook his head. Eddie was a speedster. If he hadn’t taken Barry by surprise, he could’ve taken him down just as easily. But the girls didn’t know about Eddie’s powers. “Eddie owns a bar teeming with metacriminals,” he answered. “Of course he has ways to deal with them, just in case things get out of hand. Trust me—Eddie is the one guy in my life who is I feel like I can trust completely. He’s not even a criminal—his dad’s friend was the one who gave him the bar. There’s nothing to worry about.”

            Lisa raised an eyebrow. “The _one_ guy?”

            He knew she meant her brother and Mick, but he still couldn’t completely forgive Clyde’s death. He sighed heavily. “For now, at least. I still need time to heal before I can give myself to…others.”

            Lisa nodded at that, understanding, and Jesse quickly interjected. “So, tell us more about Eddie.”

            This time, Lisa seemed eager to hear his answers, though whether it was to see if Barry had found someone she approved of or if he’d found Len and Mick some competition, Barry wasn’t sure.

0000000

            Barry was too busy helping Singh find a missing meta child for the next few days to visit the bar again. Or, maybe he was avoiding Eddie.

            He wasn’t sure why, but he was both dreading and eagerly anticipating the next time he saw the blond speedster. Maybe he was questioning if he was developing feelings for him. Maybe he was scared of what those feelings meant for his already-established feelings for Mick and Len.

            But why would it bother him? Wasn’t it better that he liked the bar owner, the fellow speedster, over the two cops responsible for his brother’s death?

            He was more confused than he’d ever been. So, he did what he did as a confused kid trying to drown out the world—while everyone else was at work, he wrapped himself in a blanket, sat on the couch, and turned on cartoons.

            A week after he returned the meta-child to his parents, he was watching Scooby and Shaggy get chased by the Headless Spector, when there was a knock at the front door. He frowned—the only people who knew where he lived were at work. He headed slowly for the door, all kinds of grim possibilities floating through his mind—what if it was another meta? What if it was the police?

            When he opened the door, he realized it _was_ the police—Mick was standing on the other side of the door, a sackful of Krystals in one hand.

            “Mick? What are you doing here?” He wasn’t sure _why_ he was so surprised—it wasn’t the first time one of the detectives had dropped by unannounced. Sure, usually it was Len, doing his weekly security check of the apartment, but sometimes, it was just one of them seeing how Barry was settling in.

            The detective grinned sheepishly, something Barry never would’ve pictured, but he kind of liked seeing on him. “Jesse texted me and said that you were at home today. I thought I’d bring some food by and check up on you.”

            Barry raised an eyebrow. “Meaning she told you and Len I had another incident the other night, and kept harassing you until you promised one of you would drop by and check on me?”

            Mick shrugged. “You know the girls. They worry—now, you gonna let me in, or not?”

            Barry rolled his eyes, but stepped to the side to let the detective in. When he saw what was on the TV, Mick raised an eyebrow. “Don’t get enough weirdness in your real life?”

            Barry snorted. “I wish that all of the terrors I’ve seen were just greedy men in masks. Scooby and Shaggy have it easy.”

            Mick nodded in agreement, taking a seat on the couch and dropping the sackful on the coffee table. Barry plopped beside him. “Not that I don’t like seeing you,” and, really, he _loved_ seeing Mick and Len, which was becoming a bit of a problem for him, “but I’m fine. It was nothing. I didn’t even get injected with anything this time.”

            “Damn,” Mick chuckled, “you’re almost as bad as Lenny when it comes to underselling things. From what the girls told us, you were almost forced into a car by an Orphan Black wannabe.”

            Barry rolled his eyes. “It was under control. A friend of mine from the bar showed up and helped out.”

            “The shapeshifter or the smoke guy?”

            Barry sighed. “Hannibal and Nimbus, and neither. You don’t know him.” A small smile grew on his face as he thought about Eddie—his sweet smile, the avid way he listened to Barry gush about the science behind their powers, how he didn’t watch Barry with pity whenever his brothers were brought up…

            Why hadn’t he jumped Eddie’s bones again?

            _Oh, right_ , he thought, catching the frown that Mick was giving him, like he knew _exactly_ what Barry was thinking about, _he was hopelessly crushing on the two detectives he tried to kill._

            He cleared his throat and looked away. “Yeah,” he reached quickly for the sackful and stole a burger, “so, I’m fine, anyway. Really. You guys don’t need to worry.”

            He shoved the whole burger into his mouth in an attempt to keep himself from saying anymore. When he reached for another one, Mick reached out to stop him, taking his hand in his.

            “We do worry,” he whispered, his focus on their entwined fingers. “Lenny and I…I don’t know why. There’s something about you. We both feel it, though Len would never tell you. But, the thought of someone hurting you…”

            The room fell silent. Barry stared, shocked at Mick’s confession. “But…” he managed to stammer, “I…I tried to kill you… _both_ of you. My brothers are both criminals. There are so many reasons…”

            “I know,” Mick interrupted. “Trust me, Len and I have wasted long nights talking about it. Especially since the incident at Saints. You…you’re special, Doll.”

            Barry felt his cheeks warm up. “Doll?”

            Mick tensed, like he hadn’t meant to let the name slip out. Without warning, he jumped to his feet. “Yeah, so…I have to get back to work. Uh…enjoy the food.”

            He ran out the door so fast, Barry questioned which of them was the speedster. Barry fell back against the cushions, a deep breath punching out of him. If he’d been confused about his feelings before, he was just pushed further in the dark by Mick’s visit.

0000000

            Eobard Thawne stood quietly in his time vault, hidden in a secret nook of his acquired house, and watched Barry Allen. Watched him face an emotional dilemma after ‘Detective Mick Rory’ left his apartment. No, not even Barry’s apartment—the apartment he shared with Leonard Snart’s sisters!

            The timeline was screwed up. There was no doubt about that. When he first came to the 21st century, he’d hoped to kill the Flash as a child as a final act of revenge. He hadn’t expected to find the timeline completely topsy-turvy, with Barry Allen being raised as Weather Wizard’s brother and Captain Cold and Heatwave as Central City’s heroes.

            When he tried to run home, he was hit with a horrifying reality—the future he’d known, the one he’d existed in, was gone. He could run back to the 23rd century, but what would he find? An unfamiliar future with a messed-up past.

            So, he stayed. He decided to observe this new Barry Allen, find out how different he was than his original self. He still hated him, but there was something unique about this new Barry. He was a criminal, but still had that kind, good heart that Barry Allen was famous for. He couldn’t even kill Snart and Rory for murdering his so-called ‘brother’. Yet, the way he went about his brand of justice in this timeline was almost vicious. He wasn’t the Flash he hated, but he intended to make him pay for his future self’s crimes, all the same.

After the particle accelerator explosion, Eobard had started collecting metas. Because of the face he’d chosen—which had been a hassle all its own—finding them was easy. He’d built a special prison to keep them in and did what any scientist would do—experimented.

            He wanted Barry, though. He didn’t care about Tony Woodward or Danton Black. Barry Allen was the prize he wanted in his cells—to stare at him every day, knowing he was trapped like an animal until he gave up and died of devastation.

            It would be beautiful.

He sent Tony Woodward to collect Barry first, remembering their history. He watched in rapt interest from the security cameras at Saints as Barry willingly went with Girder, allowing himself, in true Flash style, to be taken to save his friends.

Then, something happened; something he hadn’t calculated.

Cold and Heatwave showed up, taking down Girder with prejudice. Eobard tried to rationalize that they were heroes, and saving people was what they did in this strange timeline. But, then, he saw the careful way Cold cradled Barry against his chest. The concerned way his partner looked him over. Even through the black and white security footage, Eobard could see the care and concern on the heroes faces.

They were _in love_ with him.

He cursed, throwing his keyboard to the ground. How could this have happened? Barry had tried to _kill_ them! Yet, Barry Allen proved once again to be able to melt even the hardest and coldest of hearts, forgivable of anything.

Eobard took a deep breath. He needed another plan. He wouldn’t be able to get at Barry through force with Snart and Rory protecting him. So, he reworked his plan.

Now, standing in his vault, he knew his plan would work perfectly. All he needed was to cut Barry’s ties from everyone else, and then, he would be his.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I thought about doing a version of Iris in this story, but I'm not sure. Like, I know what she's up to in this AU, but IDK how to incorporate her in with the story I have planned. I'll think about it. 
> 
> Also, SUPER excited about Eobard. SUPER excited to write Eddie.


End file.
